Blessed Be The Binding That Ties. (New Year Schtuff.)

I’ve been running silent for weeks now. Like a submarine drifting below the light and foam of the tips of waves, my words echo in this steel hull of a brain. I say little, even to myself.

Barbara and I purged yesterday. Tossed out of our room so far are three kitchen bags for goodwill and a large black bag of “Why are we keeping this?” While Barbara sang her made up song about purging I reset books amongst other things. I didn’t organize them. I consolidated the three different areas of books in our bedroom.

The short stack sits on a simple one drawer desk, where about a dozen reside for easy access. Against a wall is a four story bookshelf made of time darkened cherry wood. No vacancy there. In our walk in closet books line three long wall shelves crowded together, bindings out.

As I said, I didn’t organize them, which used to be one of my favorite putzing past times. I simply made sure they fit properly in the spaces provided. A handful of them were purged, plucked out with the attitude of “I will never consider turning these pages again.”

The remainder is resting quietly with nothing to say until the pages turn. I feel like a book on a shelf, and it isn’t a pleasant feeling, especially as a New Year pulls on my bindings. I call myself a writer, and when that dad burn memoir is published I know eventually the binding will be silently standing at attention getting no attention. That is what most books do.

I don’t want to be “that” book. Who would? So, today I start counseling again. My name is Jerry, and I need help. There are times when the pages get stuck together and we need help peeling them apart, don’t you think? No pity party here, just determination to read between a few lines and change the story line.

I want to begin writing worn out religious words minus the cliché ambience they sometimes hold. Words like forgiveness, restoration, redemption, and that old bugger repentance to bring the plot points of this life some resolution this side of the Way Over Yonder. I will say “I’m sorry.” I will say “How can I help?” more. I will engage in the small talk and the large talk. I will see my wife more. I will see my children more.

God help me. God grace me. Good God show the way.

I suppose this is a New Year’s Resolution…What the heck…How about New Year’s Revolution?

God help us all to be open books in a way which makes the world a bit brighter this year.

Happy Belated New Year!

 

Comments

  1. Jerry,
    May you and yours have a most blessed, ‘Happy New Year”

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